Special problems of Women with ADD, ADHD inattentive type

Helen was a mediocre student at school. She always seemed to be a bit lost; some how she had managed to graduate. College just wasn't for her. She loved children and thought family life would suit her. When John proposed she couldn't believe her luck. He was charming; they were in love. What more could a girl want?

At first, there was lots to do getting the new house set up, learning to cook, visiting with friends. Two children arrived, one after the other. Helen began to feel distressed: washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning day after day. She felt tired most of the time. She just had to sit down, drink a cup of coffee, and then push herself to do the next thing. By the end of the day there were still unfinished chores.

Her friend Betty also had two children and a job. Helen couldn't understand how Betty could do all the household chores, keep a job and be full of energy. Helen only felt relaxed when she escaped into day dreams that constantly ran through her head. She thought about writing a novel, but where to find the energy and the time. John got angry when he came home to find the house in a mess.

Perhaps she would feel better if she got out of the house more. She found a part time job as a filing clerk and office assistant, but she quickly discovered that this job was not the answer: people calling "Helen here…, Helen there…". She was completely overwhelmed.

John insisted that she see a doctor; he thought she was depressed.

The doctor first diagnosed Helen as depressed and started her on an antidepressant. At first it seemed to work. She felt less blue, more cheery, but she still had difficulty getting through the day.

The doctor revised his diagnosis to ADHD inattentive type and proposed a stimulant medication. Helen balked. "Isn't that the stuff that is addicting?" The doctor explained that her brain's CEO, the part responsible for making decisions and initiating action was underactive. A stimulant would give her access to the full power of her brain; and no, in the doses prescribed, it is not addictive. In fact, people easily forget to take it.

With the stimulant, Helen began to live again. She felt cheery and best of all the chores were done in a couple of hours in the morning. She even did some of those miscellaneous projects she had started and left in the closet.

But there was still something missing, something about Helen, who was she? She thought again about writing a novel, but couldn't believe in herself enough to do it.

This time the doctor suggested coaching. The medication, he said, helps the brain to function better, but now you need to reassess who you are and what you can and want to do. An ADHD coach will guide you through this process. Her coach helped her to see her imagination as a rich resource and not just an escape hatch. She helped Helen to organize her life to include special time for her writing.

Six months later Helen published her first novel.

If this story resonates with you, try a free session of ADHD Coaching. Contact me Sarah Jane